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Archives
Welcome to the jungle.
Or Change
May 19, 2008
Different Kinds of Help
May 16, 2008
While You Were Out (A Note to my Imaginary Assistant)
May 14, 2008
A Book You Read in Reverse
May 13, 2008
Best Email I've Ever Read That Wasn't Actually Sent To Me
May 7, 2008
That's What I'm Thinking
May 1, 2008
With Your Teeth In Your Mouth
April 23, 2008
Threesome
April 10, 2008
Tootie
April 9, 2008
Class Picture
April 8, 2008
God's Wish List
April 6, 2008
They Don't Love You Like I Love You
April 4, 2008
I Know My First Name is D.A.R.Y.L
March 31, 2008
Looking Pretty Smart in Your Chicken Skin Suit
March 24, 2008
Hi, Here's a Video
March 19, 2008
Bazima, Oprah. Oprah, Bazima.
March 17, 2008
You are Going to Really Love It (Stickers!)
March 14, 2008
People We Like Questionnaire
March 7, 2008
Chicken Pot Pie
March 5, 2008
Friend of Dionne
March 4, 2008
Everybody Loves Tits
February 20, 2008
And What You Are Is Beautiful
February 20, 2008
Married to the Mime
February 19, 2008
Me on the Radio
February 15, 2008
Today in the Women's Bathroom
February 12, 2008
My Report on Rats
February 7, 2008
Blaise Almighty
February 4, 2008
A Note to White People Who Don't Have Any Black Friends But Are Huge Fans of The Wire
February 1, 2008
Everything is Fair When You're Living in the City
January 29, 2008
Flying Blind On A Rocket Cycle Day
January 23, 2008
I Can't Quit You
January 22, 2008
Somehow a Vital Connection is Made
January 19, 2008
VD Doesn't Discriminate
January 16, 2008
Astroland Arcade
January 9, 2008
Feed the Hole
January 7, 2008
'Give 'Em the Evil Look'
December 27, 2007
The Doctor is In
December 21, 2007
For Dear Life We Hold On
December 20, 2007
Tore Up From The Floor Up
December 18, 2007
A Very Bazima Holiday
December 14, 2007
Ageless and Ever
December 12, 2007
19th World AIDS Day
December 1, 2007
Weekend Update
November 28, 2007
Get Ready, Bitch! Fix Your Hair! Check Your Lipstick! (Textism: The Turkey Day Edition)
November 21, 2007
The Tires are Always a Problem
November 19, 2007
Love
November 12, 2007
Don't Touch Me 'Cause I'm Electric
November 9, 2007
The Hypothetical Game
November 8, 2007
I Know It Looks Like I'm On Writer's Strike! But I'm Not!
November 5, 2007
The Unbelievable Truth
October 21, 2007
Rusty James, Johnny Favourite, Best Ever
October 17, 2007
Get Happy!
October 16, 2007
Do You Read Your Deborah Tannen?
October 3, 2007
Sometimes No Is Just A Slow Yes
October 1, 2007
Facebook Is Not A Plan*
September 27, 2007
I'll Be You
September 25, 2007
Bazimaism #13
September 20, 2007
Bazimaism #12
September 19, 2007
Dealing with Things Way Beyond My Maturity Level
September 18, 2007
Are You Ready For Me... Ralph?
September 17, 2007
I'm Working on my Five-Year Plan. I Just Have to Choose a Font.
September 14, 2007
Polabeard
September 12, 2007
I'm Sorry, I Can't Come to the Phone Right Now Because I'm in Heaven
August 27, 2007
Yes, You Can Call Me Yours. I Am Yours.
August 23, 2007
Harlequin is Magic
August 21, 2007
Golden Takes Time After Time
August 20, 2007
What If My God Was A Sandwich
August 12, 2007
Away
August 8, 2007
Cosmo is My Co-Pilot
August 7, 2007
Some Velvet Morning
August 6, 2007
Kid
July 25, 2007
Tammy Faye
July 22, 2007
Ye Olde Labia
July 19, 2007
The Making of The BS Show, Pt. 1
July 17, 2007
Charo Wishes Ebryone A Happy Monday
July 16, 2007
Emotional Weather Report
July 12, 2007
TADA! (Or Just Wear Mittens): Coping Mechanisms for Drunk Texting
July 10, 2007
It Must Be Summertimes
July 6, 2007
Because Some People Like To Make Their Jizz In Florida
July 3, 2007
7 Minutes In Heaven with Bazima and LOU O'BEDLAM, Instant Gratifier
July 2, 2007
Dear Bazima: Who Are The Gays In Your Neighborhood
June 28, 2007
I Love You For Sentimental and Also Selfish Reasons
June 26, 2007
How To Be A Good Boyfriend (According To Someone Who Swears He's A Good Boyfriend)
June 25, 2007
This Fits
June 22, 2007
The Elephant In The Room Is Also My Imaginary Boyfriend
June 21, 2007
Recent Things I've Heard Spoken Outside My Bedroom Window
June 18, 2007
Roots, Rock, Reggae
June 13, 2007
Sit on my Facebook
June 11, 2007
Virgin Sacrifice
June 7, 2007
Last Night's Date Which Leads Me to Another Vidja
June 6, 2007
Girls Don't Wear Ties! It's The Perfect Crime!
June 5, 2007
Keep Hope Alive
May 30, 2007
Park Slope, Urinetown!
May 29, 2007
Throw Down Your Cocktails and Repent!
May 25, 2007
Things That Go in Your Mouth, Things That Come Out
May 18, 2007
Comes Around
May 17, 2007
The Hero Inside Me
May 17, 2007
Because It's Important to Learn New Things Every Day
May 15, 2007
I'm An Elvis Person
May 14, 2007
Related: Abortion Clinics, Cheap Psychotherapy and Broadway Musicals
May 10, 2007
Suddenly Drinking Wine (and Other Recent Text Messages)
May 9, 2007
Was The Kitchen Table in The Green Kitchen?
May 4, 2007
If You Ever Need Tips and Talking Points for Dinner Conversation These Are Free
May 2, 2007
Sitting On Spring's Lap
May 1, 2007
What I Will Say When Anyone Asks, "What Do You Do?"
April 30, 2007
Bazima Media's Follow-up on Outdoor Recreation
April 26, 2007
The Kids Are Alright
April 25, 2007
Moment in the Sun
April 23, 2007
Crazy on You
April 19, 2007
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and MIKE ALBO, Seer of the Feel
April 16, 2007
Harpo consulting
April 15, 2007
With Your Feet On the Air and Your Head In the Ground
April 12, 2007
And Everyone Always Thinks I'm Named After the Catholic Saint
April 10, 2007
Clown Car Bag™
April 9, 2007
And When the Music Starts We Open Up Our Hearts
April 4, 2007
Very Busy Walking: Text Messages (Winter/Spring 2007 Edition)
April 3, 2007
I'm So Pregnant Right Now
April 2, 2007
Special Victims Unit
March 26, 2007
The Dead Zone
March 22, 2007
It Can't Be Wrong When it Feels So Right
March 21, 2007
C'mon, Vernal Equinox
March 20, 2007
What Would Ann Jillian Do?
March 18, 2007
Not Smoking and Only Mentioning Oprah Once (Parenthetically).
March 16, 2007
Wicked Pissa Matzoh
March 14, 2007
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
March 13, 2007
The B.S. Show brings you closer to LIVING YOUR TRUTH™
March 12, 2007
Earl Got Your Tongue? Oprah Got Your Tongue?
March 9, 2007
Oh, and Speaking of Oprah...
March 6, 2007
OPRAH SAYS
March 5, 2007
Jenny I've Got Your Number
February 22, 2007
Carrie, things they change, my friend.
February 19, 2007
Jerkface Media (No offense, Nick)
February 15, 2007
That's what she said.
February 14, 2007
A Night in Heaven
February 13, 2007
Loving you isn't the right thing to do.
February 12, 2007
He's Got The Magic Stick
January 31, 2007
Winter Heart
January 21, 2007
Stone Cold Busted
January 17, 2007
The Cock Diet
January 15, 2007
Roo Drunk (Or: I Bet It's Gonna Be a Doozy!)
January 11, 2007
Quote of the Week
January 4, 2007
Holiday Update #3: My Seven-Year-Old Nephew's Review of His Favorite Holiday
December 27, 2006
Rest in Freaky Peace, JB
December 26, 2006
Holiday Update #2: Sarah Brown: Holiday Madam
December 24, 2006
Holiday Update #1: Why Aren't Kids Allowed to See Pirate Movies?
December 21, 2006
Dear Bazima: Sometimes I Think 'Maybe Slutbag'
December 20, 2006
Dick in a Box (Or: If Loving Justin Timberlake is a Crime I Will See You in Jail, My Friend)
December 17, 2006
Leslie Harpold
December 13, 2006
Best thing of his since Good Will Hunting.
December 12, 2006
Dear Bazima: I'm So Fucking Satisfied
December 11, 2006
Speaking of business
December 5, 2006
Do Tell
December 4, 2006
What girls really text one another about
December 1, 2006
One day we all might need the aid of a walker and with any luck mine will have lightning bolts and racing stripes painted on it.
November 22, 2006
Johnetta Mary Karr Kay Letourneau
November 14, 2006
Rememberences
November 13, 2006
([people chattering])
November 8, 2006
Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
November 6, 2006
I should send Nikola a gift basket for this shot
November 1, 2006
Making Friends
October 26, 2006
If the diaphragm doesn't fit you must acquit!
October 22, 2006
What Would Susan Miller Do?
October 19, 2006
Park Slope Thespian Realness
October 18, 2006
Oversight
October 12, 2006
Shakespeare
October 6, 2006
We like hot dogs
September 28, 2006
18 and Life
September 20, 2006
Anniversary of my birth, 12:28AM
September 15, 2006
Who knew this would be my claim to fame?
September 14, 2006
P.S. You look hot.
September 13, 2006
Amy Ashley crack smoker breast feeder
September 8, 2006
September Song
September 5, 2006
On Performing
August 28, 2006
From an email exchange (with apologies to Jon-Benet)
August 23, 2006
Memorable Billy Zabka Quotes
August 20, 2006
Current Obsessions
August 14, 2006
Edge Of Seventeen (or, "The Tent Story")
August 9, 2006
Joe Versus the Bazima
August 9, 2006
Good dog.
August 7, 2006
Today: Nightline. Tomorrow: OPRAH.
August 2, 2006
Obviously it's about the tent
July 24, 2006
In Other News
July 20, 2006
In Other News
July 20, 2006
How deep is the shallow end?
July 17, 2006
Neighbors
July 15, 2006
Love was here and gone like a thief in the night
July 14, 2006
Do it with a kazoo!
July 1, 2006
I Love You, Guy
May 23, 2006
Twisting my knobs
May 16, 2006
More About Me: Gawker Team Party Crash
May 15, 2006
Head Trauma
May 8, 2006
Hattie McDaniel has left the building. (Bazima Media covers the Oscars... Sort of.)
May 6, 2006
Man Handel
April 26, 2006
As They Say
April 25, 2006
And don't forget Jan-Michael Vincent
April 10, 2006
Today was gorgeous and I took this picture and I was happy.
March 29, 2006
Bunnies aren't cute like everybody supposes.
March 1, 2006
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Sarah "Kyuti" Kelly: Supercute and Better Than You
February 21, 2006
Bazima Media's Turin 2006 Coverage: You're Gonna Miss Your Bus, Girl!
February 16, 2006
Kindred Spirit
February 15, 2006
Extraordinary Machine
February 13, 2006
I am an artist, you fool!
February 8, 2006
I heard he tricked her.
February 6, 2006
Whenever you get weary and you've had enough...
February 1, 2006
Bazima 911
January 28, 2006
You got lucky.
January 26, 2006
Don't call it a comeback.
January 9, 2006
A succession of nows.
January 4, 2006
Dear Bazima: You Really Like Me
December 2, 2005
Only People Who Are Really Dumb Live In My Neighborhood And I Am So Totally One Of Them
November 17, 2005
Just Because We're a Celebrity Couple Doesn't Mean That When We Get Stoned Like We Just Did Ten Minutes Ago, We're Not Just Like You!
November 14, 2005
Get it together, Mary
November 3, 2005
Shopping with Yoko Ono
October 26, 2005
This is not a love song.
October 23, 2005
Here's the kind of fan mail I get sometimes
October 20, 2005
You've come a long way, baby.
October 18, 2005
Ten Ten 2005
October 10, 2005
And we all float on okay.
September 9, 2005
I'm under your spell
September 7, 2005
Defend The Grove
July 18, 2005
How to lose a girl in zero seconds
July 2, 2005
Far and Away... Way, Way, Way Away
June 20, 2005
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Dan Rhatigan: Ultrasparky Designer Extraordinaire
June 18, 2005
Pressing Buttons Talking Dirty
June 16, 2005
Nobody touch Erich's toilet paper!
June 15, 2005
Gay Vacation
June 6, 2005
The images in this film have not been sped up in any way.
June 3, 2005
Old, Old-Fashioned, Or Just Cranky (And Old)?
May 31, 2005
Round of Celebs
May 23, 2005
Happiness is a warm gun.
May 16, 2005
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Bradford Shellhammer: Fearless Lover
May 11, 2005
Flickr drops it like it's hot.
May 9, 2005
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Ganda Suthivarakom: Writer, Rockstar, Cibo Matto Alum
April 25, 2005
Precious (is for Poodles Owned By Pre-Op, Psychopathic Trannies)
April 18, 2005
Joey Tempest and my infamous, flirtatious ways
April 12, 2005
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and A.J. Daulerio: Spritely Editor, Proud Hipster
February 21, 2005
Beer can dick, for example.
February 16, 2005
And keep it company
February 9, 2005
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Lisa Whiteman: Jill of all Trades
February 1, 2005
Scrounging For Globes
January 18, 2005
Bazima goes to the dentist.
January 14, 2005
Diary of a Pill-Popping Pill-Popper
January 11, 2005
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and John "Jonno" d'Addario: Media Whore/Internet Savant
December 15, 2004
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Heather Powazek Champ: Mirror Project Creator/Web Designer/Life-Long Camera Junkie
December 10, 2004
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Sarah Brown: Writer/Funny Lady/Party Girl for the Smart Set
December 6, 2004
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Michael Barrish: Writer/Freelance Web Developer/Special Person
November 30, 2004
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Fredrik Carlström: Film Producer/Pornologist
November 12, 2004
Bazima Media's Better Late Than Never Haute and Horny Halloween 2004 Coverage
November 11, 2004
7 Minutes in Heaven with Bazima and Marc Williams: Artist/Man-About-The-East-Village
November 11, 2004
Bazima Media's Election 2004/Murder Of All Hope Coverage
November 3, 2004
Crystal, Zapruder, And The Most Important Things In Life
October 25, 2004
Geriatrixxx
September 30, 2004
Bazima for hire.
September 27, 2004
Chapter One: You Didn't Really Get Too Far
September 24, 2004
Fred Armisen and me
September 17, 2004
No one gets out of here alive.
August 30, 2004
Modern Romance
August 25, 2004
How about never?
August 16, 2004
I think it's an acronym for Cock Vagina Rectum
August 11, 2004
Total Scorpio-Virgo Relationship
August 9, 2004
Not all of this is true.
August 3, 2004
Category: Debauchery
July 27, 2004
This is about what I'm doing on my summer vacation and it's called "Panties"
July 12, 2004
hot. cute.
July 1, 2004
I Ain't A Slut but Sometimes I Sorta Play One on that Freakin' Internets
June 30, 2004
Where's Jeff Gillooly When I Really Need Him?
June 24, 2004
Totally my idea.
June 24, 2004
Harry Potter's Got the Magic Stick and Your Daddy is an Asshole
June 10, 2004
Vintage Bazima
June 3, 2004
But Who's Counting?
June 1, 2004
Girls On Girls
May 27, 2004
The wrong end of David Bowie
May 24, 2004
I'm writing a letter to daddy.
May 17, 2004
I can see your undies
May 12, 2004
Body Parts
May 4, 2004
I Am Not a Role Model (Panties Included!)
March 30, 2004
I'm Not Paying You For This Am I?
March 21, 2004
Temporarily Physically Challenged
March 14, 2004
Subway Story
March 4, 2004
And It Will Be Called 'High School Pussy'
February 23, 2004
Number 19
February 12, 2004
I don't think that's the way you want to go.
February 5, 2004
A Little More Fat Please
February 4, 2004
Dear Bazima: Say What?!?
January 25, 2004
Cold Never Stopped Us
January 15, 2004
Green Eggs And Man
January 6, 2004
Break-Update
December 23, 2003
Note to self
December 17, 2003
Luck Be A lady
December 14, 2003
Quietly
November 11, 2003
Take Two And Call Me In The Morning
October 28, 2003
All the men come in these places
October 26, 2003
JJ's Maya Angelou Banana Pudding Story
October 22, 2003
To women as far as I'm concerned
October 10, 2003
The Shower Scene
September 29, 2003
Age Oddity
September 23, 2003
Family Circus
September 16, 2003
Plug It In, Plug It In
September 11, 2003
No sleep 'til Brooklyn
September 7, 2003
Today's New York Moment
August 21, 2003
Begin with what you know, but also? You know nothing.
August 12, 2003
Gay, will you accept this Gay?
August 1, 2003
Snatch
July 13, 2003
Fade To Black: Soap Porn
July 1, 2003
Justin, I'm not stalking you.
June 24, 2003
51 Hour Kiss
June 23, 2003
Dude, Where's Your Karma
June 10, 2003
Wherever I May Roam
June 9, 2003
Permanent Vacation For Temporary
May 23, 2003
Did I Not Ask For The Merlot?!?
May 23, 2003
Lip Service
April 17, 2003
Burning Up for Your Love: A Letter to Mayor Bloomberg, Bar Owners and Their Smoking Drunks
April 15, 2003
He Shoots, She Scores
April 8, 2003
You're Only Misleading The Sunshine I'm Needing
April 1, 2003
Brother From Another Mother
March 24, 2003
Pleasure Doing Business
March 18, 2003
The Universal Language
February 23, 2003
Ain't It A Bitch
February 4, 2003
Hitting Home
January 26, 2003
Playing On My Last Fucking Nerve
January 23, 2003
Take Back The Night!
January 10, 2003
Best Weblog Web log Blog Site for Finding Yourself Bitched About if I've Dated You
January 2, 2003
Smoking a fag.
December 29, 2002
And then there were none.
December 18, 2002
Your sneezes get me all wet.
December 2, 2002
New York Moment: My Sugar Walls
November 14, 2002
New York Undercover
November 12, 2002
Run-In
October 22, 2002
Nostalgia
October 2, 2002
Camera! Action!
September 26, 2002
Dear Bazima: One Night in Bangkok
September 11, 2002
Keeping your head above water, making a wave when you can
August 21, 2002
Cycling for retards
August 19, 2002
Stroke Me
August 14, 2002
Treatment for "The Baz and Space Show!"
August 9, 2002
Pretty good looking for a girl
July 30, 2002
The Whore Report
June 15, 2002
This place is so confusing
June 14, 2002
Get your motor running
June 10, 2002
We'll get the Prom Queen impregnated.
May 31, 2002
Kentucky Fried Queen of the Goddamned Desert
May 30, 2002
Do they still play "Stairway To Heaven" for last dance?
May 21, 2002
Blow me down
May 21, 2002
Lord Of The Pole Dance
May 17, 2002
Smells like teen spirit
May 15, 2002
Dysfunction Junction (Or How I Used to be Vietnamese)
April 22, 2002
Weird Science, Part 2
February 2, 2002
Am I not your girl?
February 2, 2002
The Poo Game (Or Conversation Piece for a Date)
January 30, 2002
All Our Wounds Forgiven
January 20, 2002
Talk Of The Town
January 8, 2002
I've Created A Momster
January 7, 2002
Slap Me With Your Subpeona
January 4, 2002
You know it's Monday when...
December 14, 2001
Letter to Christina Aguilera
November 29, 2001
This is so in the movie
November 13, 2001
First Days Are For Meanies
June 28, 2001
© 2001-2008 Blaise K except where noted. Most names have been changed to protect the guilty.