Hi.

It's me.

You might know me as Blaise K, which is pronounced BLAZE. Then the letter K. Yes, Blaise is my real name. The K in Blaise K is for Kearsley. There's also an A after the B and before the K and that stands for Allysen.

Bazima is pronounced BUZZ-EYE-MUH, not Bazeema. At age five, it was what I believed to be the word for vagina. Then, one time, it became a nickname that stuck.

The rumors are true—I have been 29 since 2002. It's pretty awesome. Ethnically speaking, I am a heeb zebra. Also kind of awesome in its own special way.

Bazima.com has had a handful of incarnations, boasting thousands of posts and buttloads of caca. Much of that evidence I have buried deep inside my hope chest, only to be brought out on very special occasions for the purposes of reminiscing or to confirm that the guy I said was a life-sucking, arrogant, short dick, fatty a-hole really was just that. And more. Or (and perhaps more importantly) to remind myself that, while I'm still not a good writer after all of this time, I used to be an even more bad writer. In addition, it is important to be able to laugh at yourself. Really, really, really hard. I'm not saying that I'm able to laugh at myself, I'm just saying I think it's an important thing to be able to do.

I probably should have prefaced all this by saying that I'm writing my About page pre-menstrually.

By the way, I'm so hungry! If you'd like to make a donation you should know that even $10 will buy your way into my heart forever, but $50 might get you into my pants.

You can also purchase some pretty pictures I made through my Etsy store (where stuff is cheap) or by perusing my portfolio and sending me an email.

Lastly, contrary to popular belief, I do not mind presents.

Photo:
Luciano Noble II

© 2001-2008 Blaise K except where noted. Most names have been changed to protect the guilty.